For the past years, the phrase “romanticize your life” has popped up on social media. In essence, this trend encourages us to appreciate life’s simple pleasures. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Honestly, it’s a little hard to evaluate without more context. But I think it is generally a good thing if you don’t make it the focal point of your life. I’ll add more info in the later section when I think it is unhelpful or even dangerous.
What does it mean to romanticize your life?
In your life, there are most likely more mundane moments than special events that happen occasionally. Yes, you’ll probably get accepted by your chosen college, get your first job, go on vacation, or maybe even get married, but these are not the only moments that define your life. Your life is more than your accomplishment. Life isn’t all about achieving your goals; there’s more out there than just a list of goals.
(If I can add more, life is also about relationships)
Romanticizing your life means that you appreciate life’s simple pleasures. People seem sick of going through the motions and making productivity the center of their life. They feel as though every day is the same repetitive routine.
For those who worry that romanticizing life can make them less productive, the effect could actually be the opposite. Romanticizing your life might be an antidote to living too much in the future and/or the past. It’s an alternative form of exploring mindfulness, essentially paying attention to the present and accepting your feelings, thoughts, and body sensations.
When you start worrying about the future or dwelling on your past, try bringing yourself to the present moment. Start noticing small details surrounding you, maybe the color of the plant on the desk or the sound of you typing on your keyboard. Whether you are still figuring out where you are going or you have figured it all out, bringing mindfulness habit into your life can be extremely beneficial.
If you are looking for ideas, here are 50+ ways to start romanticizing your life realistically.
Some of the pros of romanticizing your life
- It makes your life feels less repetitive and robotic.
- It puts less emphasis on productivity, which helps reduce frustration and makes you realize that you can choose to be happy over small and mundane things.
- It makes you realize that you are not what you are accomplishing and can still be happy on the journey.
- Increases gratitude and awareness of what you have in your life. As a result, it boosts your confidence and makes you less unsatisfied with your life.
How can I romanticize my ordinary life realistically?
Take your time when making your favorite drink in the morning:
When you pour the tea or coffee, notice the water sounds and the feeling of holding your kettle.
- Notice the smell of your coffee or tea.
- Use your favorite mug and adore the shape or the color.
- Savoring your coffee or tea and thinking about how unique the flavor is.
Playing calm music or a calm, upbeat playlist while you are getting ready for the day.
Noticing the details on beautiful plants/flowers on your desk.
Picking out an outfit that expresses how you feel.
Noticing the sun shining through your window up when you wake up.
Walk to your favorite coffee shop.
Observe the decorations and notice the smell of the coffee beans. Adore the cookies and pastry displayed on the shelf. Have a small talk with the barista and take a minute to ask how her/his day is.
Playing your favorite songs when you drive. Making a curated playlist of songs you love.
Allowing yourself to take a break and notice how restored you feel.
Pause to look out the windows and look for squirrels, birds, trees, or sunlight. Listen to the bird song.
Organize and tidy up your desk.
Add some decorations if you have some you haven’t used, for instance, a frame of your favorite photo or artificial plants.
Thinking about the people you love and how much they care for you.
Thanking yourself for showing up, putting in the work, or doing the little things to take care of yourself.
For instance, “Thank you for taking the time to make this dinner. I really enjoy it!”. “Thank you for taking care of me“. “Thank you for planning for the trip!” Write it in your journal or say it aloud. If you’d like, pat yourself on the head, and you may find it silly and yourself smiling.
Pausing to notice how happy you are with your friends or having silly conversations with your coworkers.
Watching the trees, squirrels, birds, or sunlight outside.
Buy yourself a fresh flower and put them in a vase.
Display them nicely and trim them every other day. This is also a good way to brighten up your space!
Go on a walk and turn on some nice music.
You can walk by yourself or with your friends/family. If you walk by yourself, try to focus on your breath and body sensation. For instance, notice your breath coming in and out of your nose. Pay attention when your left foot or right foot hits the ground and as it releases contact from the ground.
Pamper yourself with masks, lotion, or nail polish.
Smile to yourself when brushing your hair.
Learning how to cook or try to make a meal you’ve never made before.
Do you always want to learn to make sushi or maybe artisan bread? Pick your favorite meal and learn how to make it delicious.
Make yourself a real breakfast.
Decorate and garnish the food you prepare to make it more attractive.
Spend time on your hobbies.
If you don’t have one, find a hobby. It can be starting an herb garden, making bread from scratch, or trying new ramen noodles.
Go to a cafe and people-watch in the sun.
Dance in a kitchen to your favorite songs.
Volunteer at an animal shelter and connect with the people.
Take an improv class. This will surely add fun to your life!
Get your journal and define some mini goals.
It could be goals you want to achieve over a week, a month, a year, or even five years. Break them down into smaller achievable action steps. Do you always want to make that career change? This will make you feel you have something to look forward to and more enthusiastic about your life.
Walk shoeless on the grass and feel the sensation on your feet every time your feet touch the grass.
Smell the fresh air and feel the sun on your face.
Have a little picnic with your friend, and get to know them on a deeper level.
Put on your favorite perfume before going to work or study.
Sleeping on a fresh sheet or silky pajamas if you have one.
Style your hair to feel a little bit more special.
Call your mom or friends and anyone you genuinely love that you appreciate and love them.
If you feel comfortable, schedule a lunch with people at the office you want to meet or learn from and get to know them.
Ask them, “what would you do if you had a one-year sabbatical? Or what would you do if you had a what would you do with 24 hours of free time?” This will make the conversion way more interesting and allow you to connect with them at a deeper level.
Get crafty (knitting, painting, crocheting, etc.) with no pressure on the result – enjoy the process!
Look up at the sky and notice the beauty of stars on a clear night.
Look up at the sky and feel the sun’s warmth on your face.
Watch TV/Netflix shows while snuggling under a blanket.
Go to a thrift store or a mall and buy a little gift for yourself.
Soak yourself in warm water. Add bath salts, essential oils, or some bubbles if you prefer. Light on some candles and grab yourself your favorite book and beverages.
Taking a warm bath help increases blood circulation, improves sleep quality, and reduces anxiety. Research recommends taking a shower an hour and a half before you hit the sack. That way, by the time you lay down in bed, your body will be cool, dry, and ready for sleep.
Hot showers can be as relaxing as a warm bath if you don’t have bathtubs at home. Play your favorite music in the background and sing loud like in the movies.
Write yourself a little diary.
No pressure on the content you’ll write. What happened today? What made you smile? Any interesting observations/thoughts or life realizations? Any small wins of the day? Whatever comes to your mind, write them down.
Put on scented candles while watching TV or reading a book.
Film a second of your day every day and look back after a week, a month, or a year.
You can also use the 1 second day app to create a video montage. One or two things might happen:
You will recollect those memories and may increase the memories of those days.
You may find yourself smiling and thinking you were glad you did that.
You may find it motivates you to go out and do something because you probably don’t want hundreds of seconds of yourself in bed.
Write notes to your loved ones and hide them in a place that they’ll find eventually.
For instance, on a shoe, desk, refrigerator door, a car’s key, or simply via text.
If you go to the restaurant, let the waitress or waiter pick the food for you.
Ask them, “what would you recommend?” or “what’s popular?”. You may find a new style of dishes that you like.
Start a conversation with a stranger while waiting in line or on public transportation.
Attend local events such as farmer markets, art festivals, and music festivals in your area.
Consider volunteering. It feels good to help, but you can also attend the event for free and connect with people.
You can search local events on meetups.com, Facebook, or google “events” + your city name.
This is my favorite thing to do when I get bored with my life routine.
Take yourself on a date.
Whether it is treating yourself to a dinner, reading in a coffee shop, or seeing a movie alone, it doesn’t matter as long you feel comfortable and can enjoy yourself!
Go for a hike and catch a sunset.
Use your nice dishes, plates, and bowl.
If you always save them for special occasions, then this is a sign to make use of them because you deserve to celebrate this ordinary moment.
Enhance your space.
Pick a room to tidy up, for instance, your bedroom or living room.
Rearrange the furniture, rotate your decor and brighten it with plants and flowers. Maybe even paint the room.
Go to Pinterest to grab some inspiration and ideas. Redecorating your space doesn’t have to be expensive. Check out a thrift store for some new decorations (for instance, a mirror can make your place look bigger).
What would you do with 24 hours of free time?
Or what do you wish you could do more of? Is it playing piano? Composing a piece of music? Visiting a local library? or learning how to code? Imagine yourself as the main character in the movie who is striving for her/his dream.
Spend some time getting lost in a bookstore.
If you’d like, reconnect with your old friends.
Send them a quick text. Reuniting with an old friend may give you a new perspective on your current life relative to your past.
Plan for a future trip.
Block your calendar and request that time off. This will likely give you something to look forward to in the future. Going on a trip doesn’t have to be expensive. If you are on a budget, consider traveling off-season and maybe visiting your relatives so you don’t have to pay for lodging.
Try a different route if you commute to work.
This also helps exercise your brain and makes you less nervous about changing.
Try 10 minutes of yoga or mindfulness meditation in the morning.
Write a postcard and send it to your family or friends.
Get a local postcard, and if you’d like, attach a photo or memories you’d like to share with them.
Write yourself a letter for your future self to read.
Dear future self, I promise I’ll make you proud.
Why you shouldn’t romanticize your life? Or cases when romanticizing your life is bad.
As with almost everything, doing something excessively can have negative consequences. Here is a counterargument when I think romanticizing your life is unhelpful.
It can promote hedonism and an unrealistic way of life.
Social media may make it seem (intentionally or unintentionally) that life is all about seeking pleasures, for instance, traveling, eating delicious food, and wearing pretty dresses all the time. Or maybe they always look presentable and wear fashionable clothes. One might spend hundreds on pampering themselves. But who has that kind of money? And to be frank, not everyone is born pretty and rich. Many of us have to think and sometimes worry about money. This is unrealistic and promotes hedonism.
Furthermore, setting this unrealistic standard may make people feel inadequate in their reality, thus possibly furthering their unhappiness.
But in reality, we don’t have to indulge in expensive things to enjoy the little moments in our life.
“It’s all about perspective” way of thinking is not always helpful, sometimes can even be dangerous.
The definition of romanticize on google is “to make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is”. There can be a notion that if you romanticize everything, you can make yourself feel better. But feeling better in your world doesn’t not always mean it is actually better in reality.
The idea of romanticizing your life may force people to put on a positive spin on some of their biggest struggles that negatively impact their life.
For instance, if your boss is narcissistic and verbally abusive, you shouldn’t justify their action and think it’s all about perspective and force yourself to be positive about it. Instead, run asap and find another job. This is not the moment to be optimistic but to save yourself from being mentally tortured.
If you recently just broke up with your ex, it’s ok to feel the sadness. Feelings are meant to be felt, both the good and the bad.
Romanticizing your adversity
Many decades ago, people didn’t really talk about mental health issues and depression. Thankfully, we now accept that’s an issue, and there is less considerable shame in going to a therapist about their mental health issues.
Yet some people think it is cool to have anxiety and depression these days, maybe trying to fit in. It feels #relatable. It’s ok if people wish to make light of their situation, but this doesn’t make it desirable. Mental health problems are real. Suffering from panic attacks is not something one should romanticize.
If you have suicidal thoughts at this moment, look for help ASAP. Posting it on social media may help others to feel less alone, but your mental health should be a priority. If there is another COVID year, would you want people to think positively about it? You would want most people to think pessimistically, and that’s more helpful than denying that there is an issue.
This is not some movie, and because you are the main character, things will be solved just like in the movie. Some things won’t be settled unless we proactively try to solve them.
It may encourage selfishness.
The term of being “the main character” may require you to think that everything is revolved around your story. Then, other people and your pet become instrumental to your need or wishes. It’s all about your narrative and what they can do for you, not about what we can do for others.
For instance, if one has a choice between helping her elderly mom vs. going to dinner with her friends, she might choose the latter because it brings more pleasure. What we do now is dictated by which one brings more pleasure, not by what is morally good.
However, I assume most people are probably on the other side of the spectrum. Many likely spend more time caring for others and have trouble setting boundaries. In this case, romanticizing your life can offer a solution.
Making romanticizing your life your primary goal in life may indirectly cause self-sabotage and procrastination.
While romanticizing your life might help you find the magic in mundane moments, it is not only the recipe to being content with your life. Too much self-gratitude and living for the present only can destroy motivation because you get complacent or deluded.
Human is naturally craved growth and meaning. Unfortunately, that often comes with discomfort and pain. Relationships can also cause heartache, but working towards these while enjoying little moments may lead to a more fulfilling life.
Conclusion
Romanticizing your life might be an antidote to living too much in the future and/or the past. I believe it is beneficial when you partially implement it in your life, but it shouldn’t be the main focus of your life. Like almost every new habit you want to incorporate into your life, it is a continuous learning process, and it is possible to maintain a healthy balance between living for the present and the future.
Vi, a software engineer with a keen interest in personal finance, had planned to retire once she reached her lean FI/RE (Financial Independence/Retire Early) goal. However, after achieving the goal, she took few months of a mini-retirement filled with travel and adventure and decided to continue her career.
For the past five years, Vi has been using Personal Capital (Empower), a free financial tool. Her favorite features include the dashboard for net worth, allocation, and planning, which help track her FI/RE goal and keep those investment fees in check.